Natalie Standiford, How to Say Goodbye in Robot (via girl-human)
"this is going to hurt"(via ftemn)
Deadass lol(via xkittykaattx)
You know whats fucking scary? The fact that I could literally change my life at any moment. I could stop talking to everyone that makes me unhappy. I could kiss whoever i want. I could shave my head or get on a plane or take my own life. Nothing is stopping me. The entire world is in my hands, and I have no idea what to do with it.
I’m in Chicago right now. Just left Vegas, and going to make my way to NYC….with a heartache.
I’m now officially going to be 3,000 miles away from my heart, Max :(…. I don’t even know how to feel. Mainly I feel angry because everything was perfect and worked out the way it was supposed to, then it all got messed up. I feel sad because I need him next to me & I won’t have that. A screen with his face on in isn’t enough. I need the real thing. I feel happy because he’s in LA doing what he loves & enjoying his life. I feel jealous because I want to be doing the same. I feel excited because I know at some point he will come back home and I can’t wait for that day.I don’t know how to feel, but all I know is that I feel an ache in my chest that won’t go away. I don’t remember what it’s like to not be able to say “hey in coming over.” & hop on a bus or train. I don’t remember what it’s like to schedule tons of facetimes and video chats just to get a glimpse of his face. I don’t remember what it’s like to want to cuddle and not be able to, or what it’s like to not be able to run away to my safe place when I’m having a bad day. What am I supposed to do now when my dad gets me mad… Or when I want to cry, or when I want his special double chocolate brownies. Or when I need a ride to the mall & a date to the movies? I guess I can go with other friends, but nothing is the same without him. My dad pretty much laughs at me because he says distance isn’t something to be sad about. He’s not at war. He’s alive, healthy, breathing & still loves me. But I can’t see it that way. All I see is the distance. I guess it’s time for me to fly away and have faith that it’ll all be okay. Love conquers all. I still have a heartache, and probably will for a while, but time will ease the pain. Because that’s all that can happen. And as that time goes on, the day I see him again will get closer too.